House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi
April 15, 2005

PPE: Madam Speaker, thank you for your time today. I know jet lag can take its toll and I can appreciate taking personal time to grant an interview.

NP: Oh, it’s okay. Unlike most, I don’t notice the time difference that much. My body must be used to it after all the West-to-East trips I’ve made over the years in congress.

PPE: Well, I thank you just the same. I know your trip to the Mid East, and Syria in particular, was quite controversial.

NP: I can’t see why. The 9/11 Commission clearly recommended open and honest discussions with our would-be adversaries so we can jointly solve regional problems.

(Aide: Ms. Pelosi, you rang? NP: Yes, more coffee please. Aide: A third carafe ma’am? NP: ‘yawn’ what? Ah, yes – another please)

PPE: Yes, can you see how some see that as hypocritical given you are against meeting the President at the White House regarding the war budget?

NP: The President has set pre-conditions to this meeting -- a very different situation.

PPE: Well, Syria has made its position very clear. It supports Hezbollah as a balance to Israel in Lebanon. Just like the President is making his position clear. Isn’t this the same thing? Both are clear, but want to talk – yes?

NP: (pouring coffee) Like some?

PPE: No, thank you. How do you reconcile these two apparently contradictory statements on open dialogue. It appears you just “have-it-in” for the President.

NP: I’m sorry, I was distracted for a minute – you were saying?

PPE: Never mind. Let’s change directions slightly. You came to office on a massive Democratic wave. You campaigned on fiscal discipline and ending corruption.

NP: (yawn) Yes.

PPE: Yet, the war funding bill just passed has tens-of-billions of dollars for pet projects not at all connected to the war. You called this bill a huge triumph for the American people even though it’s only the districts of powerful Representatives that appear to win here.

NP: In government, you have to make compromises in order to get what you want.

PPE: Yes, and what did you want that required billions of dollars in hand-outs?

NP: (head lilting slighty – jerks upright) Uh yes! Compromise, requires some give-and-take.

PPE: I understand that. My question is regarding what it is you want.

NP: To pass the war funding bill of course.

PPE: And the part forcing the President’s hand on a timetable for withdrawl?

NP: That’s in there, yes.

PPE: To be clear, it’s worth billions in give-aways to make the President accept an aribitrary timeline for withdrawl? If your party were in agreement on this issue, why the give-aways?

NP: (groggy) The American people told us that they depiragrmph (inaudible) ahhh (head down)

PPE: Ma’am? Madam Speaker?

NP: Ah, sorry. Just phased out there for a moment. You were saying?

PPE: Let's get to what concerns me personally. There are endless hearings and press conferences regarding the firing of 8 U.S. attorneys by the Bush administration.

NP: A terrible abuse of power.

PPE: Was it illegal?

NP: No, but obviously politically motivated. We need to get the proof of this..

PPE: You want proof that political appointments are, uh... political?

NP: The American people deserve the truth.

PPE: You think the people care about spending so much time and funding on this? Given all that's going on right now, you think the American people see this as a priority?

NP: Corruption cannot go unchecked.

PPE: You admitted nothing illegal is happening here. Is it possibe this is yet another attempt to just make the President look bad?

NP: I have clearly stated that (drooping eyelids) I will not stand for lallyarghhh (inaudible).

PPE: Execuse me?

NP: Wasn't I clear?

PPE: Perhaps we should reschedule. I can tell you are quite tired and need to rest.

NP: Why does everyone keeping saying that? I’m not tired.

PPE: Really?

NP: I resent that question. I don’t get why everyone thinks I need more rest. I am the Speaker of the House for a reason! I have the perspective of the American people. I understand what’s going on!!

PPE: Yet, you haven’t really answered my questions. The American people you represent see incompatible stances here. I’m concerned you don’t see they are in conflict. The people think you are simply perpetuating corruption. You've changed nothing! You appear to represent more gridlock and partisan bickering. It's all about positioning yourself and your party.

NP: zzzz (snore) pfpfpfpfpfpfzzzz

PPE: Ma’am?

NP: (silence)

PPE: Sweet dreams Madam Speaker. Sweeter than reality anyway.

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